Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
