I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
operation have a gay friend backfired
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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