When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
