found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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