I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Couch. On fire.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
