I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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