Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
