ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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