i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
