just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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