My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
