What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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