So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
they need to just BURY HIM!
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
