Fuck appropriateness.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
