soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.�
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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