4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
false alarm, still single
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
