the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
being pregnant is like rehab
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
