Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
