My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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