what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
