I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
