yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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