I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
