11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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