just come out here and I will go home with you...
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
