just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
