Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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