Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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