He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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