my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
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