So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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