theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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