I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
