I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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