Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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