I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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