her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
