i'm signing you up for texting rehab
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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