Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
