He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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