Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
