Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
