Do vagina's smell?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
