you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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