wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
