Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
