ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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