lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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