Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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