i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
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