cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
