I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
