i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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