Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
