when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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